the power of habits: cultivating excellence through intentional living
“Every habit and capability is confirmed and grows in its corresponding actions, walking by walking, and running by running … therefore, if you want to do something make a habit of it, if you don’t want to do that, don’t, but make a habit of something else instead. The same principle is at work in our state of mind. When you get angry, you’ve not only experienced that evil, but you’ve also reinforced a bad habit, adding fuel to the fire.”
— Epictetus, Discourses, 2.18.1-5
Aristotle’s assertion that “We are what we repeatedly do, therefore, excellence is not an act but a habit” encapsulates a profound truth about human nature and personal growth. The habits we cultivate shape not only our actions but our character. This idea is echoed by the Stoic philosophers, who emphasized the power of habitual thoughts and behaviors in defining who we are. As Marcus Aurelius wisely noted, “Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind.” This shared wisdom underscores a critical insight: the quality of our lives is determined by the habits we practice, both in thought and deed.
The Roman Stoics placed a significant emphasis on managing habitual behavior as a cornerstone of personal development and the pursuit of a virtuous life. Musonius Rufus, one of the great Stoic educators, argued that no amount of theoretical knowledge could surpass the power of good habits in leading a fulfilling life. He believed that habits form the bedrock of our character, and thus, cultivating positive habits is essential for making progress in the art of living.
Epictetus, a student of Musonius Rufus, extended this focus on habit, urging us to be vigilant in not reinforcing negative behaviors. Anger, for instance, is a common yet destructive habit that can easily become ingrained if left unchecked. Epictetus advocated for replacing such harmful habits with better ones, understanding that our daily actions are the building blocks of our character. This Stoic approach to habit formation is not about suppressing our humanity but about channeling our natural tendencies toward constructive ends.
There’s a popular Native American parable about the power of choosing how we show up in the world. The story goes something like this: An old Cherokee is having a conversation with his grandson. He tells the little boy that there is a great battle between two wolves that takes place in all of us. One wolf is evil — it is filled with anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good — it is filled with joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The boy looks at his grandfather and asks, “Which wolf wins?” To which the Cherokee replies “The one that you feed.”
The wolf we choose to feed determines our perspective, our actions, and eventually our character.
Whether we realize it or not, every action we take is a reflection of who we are, at least in that moment. Our behaviors, no matter how small, serve as signals to others and to ourselves about our character. Being mindful of this can help us identify and curtail behaviors that do not align with the person we aspire to be. We all possess flaws and habits that we may not be proud of, but acknowledging our fallibility is the first step toward growth. The important realization is that we always have the choice to present our better selves. To do so, however, requires a clear understanding of who that better self is.
Daily life offers countless opportunities to observe the actions of others—some of whom we admire and others who serve as cautionary examples. From these observations, we can draw lessons and decide to model positive behavior ourselves. This decision, while simple in concept, demands intentionality and dedication. Changing a bad habit is rarely easy; it requires consistent effort and a willingness to confront our shortcomings. However, with time and practice, new and better habits can become second nature.
The path to excellence is not a single, grand act but a series of small, deliberate choices made every day. By reflecting on the habits or behaviors that hinder our growth and taking steps to correct them, we can begin to transform our lives. Today, like every day, presents us with opportunities to feed the good wolf, to practice being the person we wish to become. By doing so, we not only improve ourselves but also create a ripple effect of positive change that can inspire those around us. As Henry Miller put it, “Example moves the world more than doctrine.”
