the myth of the everlasting love affair
"Love is not about how much you say ‘I love you,’ but how much you prove that it’s true."
– Unknown
The cinematic portrayal of love often paints a picture of a whirlwind romance, filled with passionate declarations, grand gestures, and a seemingly endless supply of butterflies in the stomach. This idealized version of love, however, is far removed from the reality of most relationships. It is a myth perpetuated by Hollywood, a myth that has led many to confuse love affairs with relationships.
Love affairs are characterized by intense feelings of infatuation and desire. They are often marked by a heightened sense of self-absorption, as individuals focus on the ways in which their partner makes them feel. Relationships, on the other hand, are more about genuine connection and intimacy with another person. They involve a deeper level of understanding, empathy, and commitment. While relationships can certainly be filled with love and affection, they are not always marked by the same level of euphoria and passion as love affairs.
Because we have conflated love affairs with relationships, we have come to expect that romantic love should be constant and unchanging. We believe that passion, desire, and excitement should persist throughout the course of a relationship. However, this is simply not the case. Relationships are dynamic and complex entities that are subject to a variety of factors, including changes in circumstances, personal growth, and the natural ebb and flow of emotions.
"Love is not something you feel. It is something you do."
– David Wilkerson
When the initial spark of infatuation fades, and the honeymoon phase of a relationship comes to an end, many people mistakenly believe that something is wrong. They may question the viability of their relationship or even begin to doubt the strength of their feelings. However, this is a perfectly normal part of any long-term relationship. Emotions are fluid and ever-changing, and it is unrealistic to expect them to remain constant over time.
By placing unrealistic expectations on our relationships, we set ourselves up for disappointment and dissatisfaction. When we fail to recognize that relationships are not always about fireworks and grand gestures, we may become overly critical of our partners and our own experiences. We may even begin to believe that our relationship is doomed to failure.
To improve the quality of our relationships, it is essential to adopt a more realistic perspective. We must recognize that relationships are not always about passion and excitement, and that it is perfectly normal for feelings to fluctuate over time. By softening our expectations and focusing on the deeper aspects of our connections with our partners, we can create stronger, more fulfilling relationships that are built on a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and commitment.
