speak openly and speak deeply

If we want to live an authentic life (for real!), then we need to learn how to speak openly and speak deeply.

Speaking openly entails speaking with radical candor. Authentic people speak frankly, in a direct and straightforward way with no holds barred. This doesn’t mean that being authentic gives you a hall pass to attack other people and their joy and pride; it just means being direct to other people about your views and opinions with regard to any plans, ideas and strategies for creative problem-solving. It is simply about communicating to others about your perspective and your preferred approach with honesty. 

We need to learn how to speak fully and passionately. Being direct and expressing our opinions and viewpoints openly actually builds trust. Other people find it easier to trust us and our words because they know that we won’t speak about something in a vague and round-about way. A majority of people respect and like authentic men and women simply because they speak frankly and openly.

Speaking deeply means not hovering on the surface and engaging in superficial conversations. You know all the social banter and unnecessary chit-chat that goes around you, well authentic people don’t take part in it. They are not focused on going wide, but going deep, and that’s where they distinguish themselves from 99.9% of the crowd. They are actually more driven to discuss real problems and challenges, and real shortcomings, vulnerabilities and the relevant feelings involved in the process. For them, vulnerability signifies strength, not weakness.  As Darren Hardy says, “Exposing your weaknesses, being vulnerable, being completely open, and well, authentic is the greatest strength there is in a social tribe.” 

The sad truth is that a majority of us wear masks and play pretend, rather than being our real selves, and when someone decides to shed the facade and instead be authentic and be okay with discussing their flaws and vulnerabilities, their authenticity attracts people like bees to honey. It turns out that being authentic as we speak to others is one of the acts that makes us more charismatic and appealing to others. The only hurdle that lies in front us though is our own ego. But when we win over it and become comfortable with revealing our true selves, that’s when we tap into our personal power.