power and connection

There needs to be a healthy balance of power and connection for a relationship to exist. Often times, when two people are hungry for dominance and power, it breeds negativity and the relationship inches towards an end. In order for the relationship to survive, one out of the two needs to back off and focus on connection, not power.

If there’s a battle for power, one person needs to take a conscious decision to focus solely on building connection, let the other person dominate, and then channel that edge and hunger for power into something else — a job, a business or an initiative. In that way, it’ll be a win-win situation for both the individuals and the relationship will survive.

The best strategy, however, is for both people to focus entirely on connection when they are with each other. Only then the relationship will not only survive, but thrive, and thrive well. When there’s no hint of dominance or power involved, it becomes a safe haven where both the people understand, honor and respect each other and their needs.

The goal is to cooperate, not corporate. It’s okay to seek power in our work and other endeavors but when it comes to relationships, all we need to do is connect with the other person.

It’s not about getting better at power dynamics and trying to control the other person. The more we do that, the more our relationship will suffer. There’s no need to keep scores and evaluate or judge the other person.

A true relationship is all about acceptance and building a meaningful connection with someone you care about.