focus on the process, not the end goal
“Those obsessed with glory attach their well-being to the regard of others, those who love pleasure tie it to feelings, but the one with true understanding seeks it only in their own actions.”
“Think on the character of the people one wishes to please, the possessions one means to gain, and the tactics one employs to such ends. How quickly time erases such things, and how many will yet be wiped away.”
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6:51, 59
Most of us think that in order to achieve extraordinary success, we need to constantly focus on the results we are getting and use them to measure our progress. Although this strategy may work in the short term, in the long run, it's not optimal. When we start focusing our energy and attention less on the results and more on the processes or behaviors involved, we feel more successful and happier, even if we don't get our desired outcomes.
Let’s face it, we humans are seldom satisfied with our present circumstances. As our wants and desires increase, so does the pressure of achieving outcomes. We believe that when we attain our desired results, only then we have a truly successful life; and that the key to a better future is getting better results. But if we operate in this way, we focus more on selfish gains rather than doing the right actions. We become anxious and overwhelmed when we don't attain results and the extrinsic success through which people measure our worth. We become more concerned with what people think about us, instead of trusting our instincts, believing in ourselves, and thinking about ourselves and our happiness. When we focus on the process, not the end goal, we start living in the present and feel satisfied. We let go of any distractions and shiny objects that hinder our focus and our progress.
When we operate with results in our minds, we operate in a selfish manner and look at success as a “prize.” We distance ourselves from our humanness and goodness. In addition, we get stuck in the negative loop of “comparison and competition” that deteriorates us and our well-being. As a result, we constantly feel anxious and overwhelmed as we pursue our desired outcomes and put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to perform. When we think exclusively about the outcomes, we start playing safe. We become less willing to take risks and experiment which may propel us to reaching much better outcomes than the ones we were actually aiming for.
When we focus on our actions, it becomes less about winning or losing. Instead, it becomes more about gaining mastery and getting better day by day. We become more experience-focused, instead of being driven by stuff and the shiny accoutrements. As we let go of the distractions and disturbances and the tension of whether we are going to get our desired result or not, we focus on conquering ourselves and doing our best bit for the day.
The truth is that results are never in our control, what we control are our actions and our attitude. A great reminder to keep us grounded in our daily life is this quote by T.S. Eliot: "For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business." When we don't have the challenge of getting results dangling above us, we bring the locus of control in ourselves. We get a sense of empowerment, enhance our self-esteem, and elevate ourselves for greater success. We are not blinded by external results, by the shiny accouterments and prizes, and by the hollow, empty treasures of the world. We simply focus on doing right, aligned actions, and living an intentional and meaningful life.
Things may or may not turn out the way we wanted them to be, but we are happy that we gave our very best and dedicated ourselves to the process. We've already won within! If we attach our success to a specific outcome, we'll become frustrated and disappointed when we don't achieve it. Instead of letting a particular outcome dictate our happiness, we can simply focus on taking meaningful actions in the best way we can so that we make progress towards our goal. That will always help us access the happiness within.
Developing an attitude of non-attachment is a key principle taught in the Bhagavad Gita. As Krishna instructs Arjun, "Desire for the fruits of your work must never be your motive in working... Renounce attachment to the fruits." He further adds, "Work done with anxiety about the results is far inferior to work done without such anxiety in the calm of self-surrender... They who work selfishly for results are miserable." He also reminds Arjun that thinking about sense objects attaches us to sense objects, and as our attachment grows, we become addicted. Our addiction leads to anger, confusion, and losing touch with what matters the most. We lose a sense of direction and deviate from our life's purpose. Essentially, Krishna points out that those who work solely for the sake of acquiring material rewards and possessions are committing a big mistake. When they overcome hurdles or have their possessions taken away from them, they become angry, bitter, and resentful and step away from their natural goodness. As a result, they lose that equanimity and tranquility of mind which is the foundation of virtue.
The Stoics always believed in the truth that our well-being lies in our actions, and that non-attachment is essential to virtue. The concept of the dichotomy of control guides us to the realization that we only have control over our actions but not of the outcomes that we get. If we focus on the right actions and take pleasure from them and let go of achieving our desired outcomes, we embrace the happiness and tranquility within. In his book The Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday explains, "If your happiness is dependent on accomplishing certain goals, what happens if fate intervenes? What if you're snubbed? If outside events interrupt? What if you do achieve everything but find that nobody is impressed? That's the problem with letting your happiness be determined by things you can't control. It's an insane risk."
The intention behind our actions is not to get recognized, or achieve fame, wealth, or social status, rather it is to only do what we think is right. As Seneca writes in his Moral Letters to Lucilius, "... the wise man regards the reason for all his actions, but not the results. The beginning is in our own power; fortune decides the issue, but I do not allow her to pass sentence upon myself."
