don’t play the blame game

Epictetus once taught his students this lesson: “Finding fault with others when things are going badly for him is what an uneducated person does. Finding fault with himself is what a partially educated person does. Finding fault with neither others nor himself is what a fully educated person does.” (Handbook 5b)

Marcus Aurelius too (maybe influenced by Epictetus’ teaching) wrote in his private journal: “If he’s making a mistake, instruct him in a kindly fashion and show him what he’s over-looking. If you can’t do that, blame yourself—or no one, not even yourself.” (Meditations 10.4)

The more you blame people and things in the outside world, the more you reveal to others your abysmal level of self-education. In a similar vein, the more you blame yourself, the more you reveal to yourself your abysmal level of self-compassion.

It’s crucial that we stop playing the blame game; it’s worthless. Control the controllables, and let go of the rest.