biological family vs. logical family

Our biological family is not always our logical family. Their beliefs and thought processes may not align with ours. And it’s okay.

We may not be getting the respect and support that we want from our family. They may not be meeting our expectations and we may be constantly getting hurt and disappointed with their words and behaviors.

We can’t wave a wand and change our family members, but we can seek friendships and relationships outside that better align with us.

We should neither control our family members or let our family members control us. We need to make boundaries and if they’re constantly overstepped, it’s important to build the required distance from them.  

We need to love and accept our family members, and we can do that from a distance. If our relationships to our family constantly derail us and take us in the downward spiral, then we need to minimize the time we spend with them and seek company of people who inspire us and fuel our growth, improvement and development.

As we grow in our journey and go through personal expansion, we cultivate new, healthy beliefs that may not align with our family members who are still caught up in the same thinking patterns. Their stagnation may contradict the progress that we have made so far causing a difference in perceptions, opinions and mindsets.

We don’t need to be arrogant or judge them; we can respect and honor them while protecting our beliefs. And if they don’t reciprocate with the same behaviors, then it’s time to distance ourselves from them.

Being a part of a dysfunctional family should not limit our growth and freedom. Some relationships thrive well with a good amount of distance between them, and there’s no way around that. Unfortunately for some of us, life puts us in circumstances where we can’t have the distance that we want and as a result we come across difficult conversations and situations more often than we want. In that case, we need to accept what we have, cultivate gratitude to the silver linings and just do our best. We need to have faith and trust that in the end, all is going to turn out well.

We also need to step away from feelings of self-judgment, self-criticism and guilt that we would be experiencing from time to time. We need to accept our current state and believe that we’re doing our best. We know we need to give away our love to the people close to us but we can’t do that if our happiness and peace of mind are compromised. Instead, we need to put ourselves first and serve our own needs before serving others’.

Instead of building anger, resentment and hatred against our family and luring ourselves into a victim mindset, we need to find meaningful associations with people that align with us and our philosophy. We can choose to have relationships that uplift us and fuel our success and growth, and make us the best versions of ourselves and let go of the ones that constantly deflate us and put us down.