becoming a love warrior
Love is not easy. And the way the male and female minds work, sometimes it can become more complicated than necessary.
Glennon Doyle, in her book Love Warrior, points out that both men and women interpret and give love differently.
Women love with their minds and souls. For a majority of them, loving is all about having deep and meaningful conversations. They thrive on them and these conversations are their primary avenue to express and feel love. However, Doyle explains that as girls grow up, they are taught that their bodies are meant to be (for the lack of a better word) endorsed, not respected. As a result, they become more self-conscious about their bodies, which leads to a great amount of resistance when it comes to the physical expression of love.
Men, on the other hand, love with their bodies. The society trains them not to be vulnerable because it signifies weakness. This stunts them emotionally and they never learn how to communicate their feelings. As time progresses, men develop a fear of intimacy and they start avoiding deep conversations and vulnerability. They start wearing different kinds of “masks” that help them hide their true selves, making physical expression their only route to show love.
Women sometimes dread physical love, and men sometimes feel threatened by deep conversations. And these different outlooks can make love hard.
Regardless of these differences, love can become easier if we choose to make conscious efforts. As Doyle says, “Love is about relentlessly showing up.” Just being there for the other person, being honest and vulnerable with them, giving generously and doing whatever it takes — they all contribute to the notion of showing up. In simple words, we must always be and do our best in the journey of love.
When you hit the lows, how you show up for your partner determines the course of your relationship. Choosing to give your best and exceeding expectations not only helps others but greatly helps you too. It encourages both you and your partner to become better, taking the relationship to a whole new level. This is what Doyle calls being a “love warrior.”
When life and/or love get rocky, choosing to show up and going the extra mile while being your best and authentic self is not an easy feat. But this is what elevates people and relationships. This is what being a love warrior is all about, not giving up and not giving in, no matter what.
As the popular quote by Woody Allen goes, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” When things aren’t easy, finding the courage within and choosing to show up regardless of the differences is worth it. This is what keeps the relationship thriving and makes it successful in the long run.